Deep inside our souls, our inner child awaits. She (or he) is waiting to be acknowledged, remembered, and loved. No matter what stage of life you are currently in, the inner child within is asking to join you on your journey to provide support, guidance, and healing.
The inner child is easy to forget and neglect just as easily as our own needs were forgotten and neglected as children. Even those who experienced “stable or normal” family lives have stored trauma that inner child work can uncover and heal. Based on my work as a Quantum Sphere Healer, I can say that clients who’ve had relatively happy childhoods need this work just as much as those who’ve had tumultuous upbringings because going within to heal unmet needs and blocked trauma from childhood is not common knowledge.
The inner child resides in our subconscious and has recorded all of the traumas that are buried deep inside us, hidden and forgotten by time. Through the survival mechanism of suppression, parts of us go unconscious in order for the individual to continue to function.
The process to becoming whole again is done through our inner child. This is the aspect of us that wants to be seen, heard and ultimately, integrated. Our inner child is trying to get our attention so that we can learn how to meet our own needs and love ourselves, instead of assigning those roles to people, places, and things.
Inner child work is often the missing puzzle piece in our spiritual evolution. We can learn all the ancient knowledge in existence but healing the grief and loneliness of the inner child is the key to unconditional love and transcendence. Our inner child wants peace and resolution, and the way to get it is by fully embracing her.
It can be difficult to feel complete on this journey, but when you meet your inner child, you will start feeling the safety and security inside yourself that comes with healing this crucial shadow aspect. When you send love to your inner child, you are telling her that she is safe to exist and thrive. You are giving her the home she’s always wanted and inviting her to share her talents, imagination and guidance with you.
Our inner child rejoices when we follow our greatest enthusiasm and embrace our gifts. If you feel a lot of resistance on your path and find yourself unhappy with your life and journey, it may be time to visit your inner child and ask her what you can do to make her, and ultimately you, happy.
How do you know when its time to do inner child work? It often comes as a surprise to people that they need this work because it can sound abstract or even too simple to be the answer to your problems, but the feeling you get when you make the initial connection is an intense maternal love for yourself. It encompasses compassion, understanding, empathy, and joy. It is like an ancient recognition of your soul and your innocence.
The first sign that its time to do this work is if you are unhappy with your career and life choices. The inner child is disappointed when it feels that you have gone against your will and your own truth, or when you have abandoned your joy and enthusiasm for something you feel obligated or pressured into.
Not having a creative outlet also creates tension between you and your inner child. The inner child is an artist who wants to create and express herself. She sees beauty and curiosity in the world around her and she lets her imagination dictate her dreams and inspirations. We often lose this ability once we are indoctrinated in our school, family, and religious communities. And when we are adults we only realize the gold in these qualities when we’ve exhausted ourselves in dead-end jobs and societal pressures. Once you establish a relationship with your inner child, you can ask her for specific guidance and career advice. You will become inspired by your inner child in the most unexpected ways such as taking on new hobbies and artistic outlets, taking a class and getting a certification, or even taking a vacation and journaling.
Another sign is feeling like you are invisible. I’ve noticed that my clients who are unhappy with their family lives feel this the most. Clients who grew up in big families where there needs were overlooked due to a lack of attention and resources have an immense need to be seen and heard. Feeling unnoticed by parents and siblings manifests into adulthood by feeling unnoticed in your career, social life, and romantic life. If you feel like your voice is always drowned out by another person’s needs or overpowering energy, you can resolve and meet these needs by giving your inner child the love, attention, and voice that she never received. This requires you to speak to your self as you would speak to a sweet, innocent child whose trust you seek to gain. In a soft, gentle voice, speak to the inner child inside of you. Say hello, tell her you’re here for her and you will never leave her. Let her speak and listen to her. Most importantly, say, “I love you.”
We don’t have to be embarrassed that we’re starved for attention. The truth is that we’re starved for our own attention. In every single healing session I’ve performed, the first thing the inner child wants is our recognition. When we are anxious we are feeling our inner child’s stress and anxiety over our lack of self-recognition. We don’t need others to see us and validate us to prove that we are alive. We need to look at ourselves and meet ourselves with the loving gaze and recognition we craved as children.
If you are quick to anger, this is an important sign that your inner child is unhappy and is trying to get your attention. When the inner child is fearful, is in pain, is lonely, or fully succumbs to our neglect, it can act out in order to tell us that we need to change. When we try to express our rage in childhood we’re often punished and silenced. All of our pain is stored until we can’t take it anymore and we unleash at the slightest trigger. This is when you need to meet with your inner child and ask her, “Why are you hurting?” “What can I do for you?” When you get your answer, the first thing you should do is comfort your inner child and send her unconditional love. There is no room for judgment in this work. You are allowed to look at all of your shame, embarrassment, and pain and honor all of it. The next step is loving yourself for feeling all of those things. This is what we rarely received as children, as this is all we wanted, to know that we are seen and loved no matter what emotions come forward.
In my healing practice, I’ve noticed that physical issues and energy blockages within the womb, pelvic area, throat, and jaw are important indicators of inner child work. The client’s inner child literally appears in the throat and root area of the client’s energy body and is usually shouting, “Look at me! See me! I’m over here! Help me!” I’ve seen the inner child hidden behind a boulder in someone’s throat, or literally covered in layers of dirt buried from complete sight until I unearth it during the healing session. I’ve seen it in cages, drowning in water, and under rocks. Once revealed, the inner child is gasping for breath and then it tells me what it wants from the client. I then relay the information to the client along with an inner child meditation that guides the client in journeying and meeting their inner child. I've noticed that as soon as I tell the client their inner child appeared to me, their entire energy field lights up, as if they knew all along that it was time to meet and heal.
The inner child usually appears near or within the root chakra, indicating issues with safety and security. Our most basic needs are often overlooked in childhood and the resulting trauma is stored in this energy center. Clients who've experienced sexual abuse are most likely to have their inner child trauma blocking their root chakra. The child appears asking to be nurtured and reassured that they are safe in the body and safe to be seen.
When the inner child appears in the throat I know that it wants to express itself. It wants to be seen and heard and wants to be creative. Clients who don't feel comfortable in their bodies and safe to be who they are usually have an active inner child appear in the throat asking them to look at their lives and claim their power. They're asking for their throat chakra to be activated through self-expression and through setting boundaries with other people. If you feel yourself in a power struggle, your inner child can help you pinpoint what you need and the best way to express those needs.
When I connect my client’s with their inner child, I teach them how to meet them through a simple meditation. If this is your first time meeting your inner child, all you have to do is set the intention to meet with her. Sit comfortably in your space, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths while setting the intention to meet with her. In your mind’s eye imagine her sitting in a room waiting for you or sitting in your favorite place to visit as a child. You can even meet her at the point of a traumatic childhood event and start there. Enter the room and embrace her. Trust what you are seeing and feeling. Say hello and send her love. You can ask her what she needs and how you can provide for her. Be a parent to this child. Give her a hug and feel her heart beat. Play games, talk about the things you like to do, tell her stories. The more imaginative and interactive you get the more you will feel her connection. Make a list of all the things she would like to do together and then actually go out and do those things. For example, if she wants to color, buy a pack of crayons and a coloring book and take the time to color. Treat yourself to ice cream and something you loved as a child. Get into that joyful, innocent space that inspired you as a child and allowed you to dream.
Note that this meditation exercise is not the only method of connecting with your inner child. You have a direct line to her every time you listen to your intuition and make a decision that comes from you. You connect with her every time you look in the mirror and meet yourself with a smile. You speak directly to her heart with every “I love you” you send to yourself. I like to bring my inner child with me whenever I give a talk or host a workshop. I have her sit beside me and include her in all the special moments in my life. This grounds me and inspires me to speak my truth, make her proud, and even impress her. Before I started this work my inner child lived hidden beneath layers in my throat. Now she lives in my heart and speaks through my voice.
The goal of this work is to integrate your inner child so she is no longer a separate aspect of yourself. Instead, she becomes your inner voice, ready to guide you and love you through every stage of your sacred journey.
Inner child work is continuous. You can measure the relationship with your inner child by the depth of eye contact you give yourself and how open you are to listen to all emotions. You will find that it becomes second nature by how well you treat yourself and how loving and open you become with yourself. The reward of this work is finally living in alignment with your personal truth and walking your path in wholeness with complete trust and unconditional love for yourself.